Among them, men have been found to be three times more disloyal and guilty than women. 93% of the divorce cases were filed by women against their adulterous husbands. The fact that there is someone else in your spouse’s life is could crush a person. You undergo feelings of anger, hurt, threat, betrayal and depression. It would seem as if the world has come to an end after being betrayed by your partner.

Reasons behind Extramarital Affairs

Before taking any harsh decisions things must first be analysed. The reason behind your partner taking such a step must be studied. So, why do married people have an affair?

There are a number of reasons for engaging in extramarital affairs. The most common among them are:

• Excitement: When couples marry they are carried away by the newness and excitement of their relationship. With time and pressure the attraction fizzles out. To retain the excitement they once experienced, some people enter into an affair.


• Emotional Fulfillment: Some partners develop a feeling of emotional desertion when their partners do not spend enough time with them. This feeling of abandonment leads to the search of a relationship to fill the emptiness.


• Getting Even: Some partners may not be paying enough attention towards their spouse. Likewise, some people may suspect their partners to be having an affair elsewhere. They enter into an affair themselves to get even and to make their partners jealous.


• Boosting their Ego: Some individuals who do have a magnetic and attractive personality enter into an affair to boost their ego and self esteem.


• Sexual Fulfillment: Some couples who do not have a successful sexual relationship tend to enter into an affair to fulfill their desires.

In case a partner enters into an extramarital affair the first thing to be discovered is “why did it happen”. A spouse looks for love elsewhere when his/her partner does not make them feel the same way the other person makes him/her feel, i.e. important, attractive, special or sexy.

The extra marital affairs don’t last long. After a few days of fun when expectations start to grow, differences develop. Relationships cease to be the same when lovers begin to point out each others mistakes.

Divorce - a Way Out of Betrayal

Most affairs start with innocent flirting. With time they turn into serious relationships. When the spouse comes to know of it, he/she undergoes a gamut of emotions. At this juncture the basic question that has to be answered is whether one wants to try and repair the damage and save the marriage or give in and file for divorce. If you are for the former, the need of the hour is to have a direct talk with your spouse about it. These discussions bring out reasons for such a situation and who was responsible for it.

In case your spouse accepts the blame, things become easier to sort out. It might also happen that the spouse blames you for everything. It is time for retrospection and honest analysis of the situation.

It is difficult to get out of marriage and go for a divorce. If you have children, no matter how unhappy your marriage is, you might not like to compromise with their future.

Tackling the Problem

There are a few methods that one needs to follow if he/she is really interested in saving the marriage. Recovery from an affair is a gradual process and does not happen overnight. Patience is the keyword for it. Another method is counseling which is of great help in such situations. Forgiving your spouse is the final but hardest part of the process. Though your spouse may be at fault, forgiveness will help them to overcome their guilt and help them to start afresh.


James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce seehttp://www.managed-divorce.co.uk